New Garden

This week my mom and I created two mini gardens on the side of the house. I have had somewhat of a desire to try to grow plants since seeing people garden on the rooftop of my apartment in Guatemala, but I have never taken any steps to actually do it, until now. My mom is so great and did a lot of the work. I joked that I was just her supervisor, but it was half true. I am excited to have something that is depending on me and that I consistently need to care for. There's basil, mint, and rosemary on one side and marigolds and caladiums (and one lone mint) on the other side. 

I'm most skeptical of the caladiums, because right now they're just bulbs, hidden in the darkness. They are covered by soil and mulch, and it seems like one of the neighborhood cats has even tried to dig them up. Will they be able to grow and mature and make it above ground? I'm not even 100% sure where they're planted, which makes watering them a little uncertain. 

Two friends have recently compared the process and conditions seeds undergo as they grow to dark(er) times in life. They both quoted from an unknown source, "Sometimes when you're in a dark place you think you've been buried, but actually you've been planted." Uncertain. Scary. But necessary.

This is so good, and yet so far from what I have believed and what society tends to feed us. Yesterday I started reading Sue Monk Kidd's When the Heart Waits, and I find myself being exposed to a different way of thinking and living. Paradigms are shifting. Perspectives are changing. Yet again, I feel like God is reminding me that His ways are not my ways, nor the world's ways. In a fast-paced society, Kidd focuses on His way, declaring, "Here's the paradox: we achieve our greatest progress standing still" (34). This is hard for me to wrap my head around, because it is counter-culture. 

Lord, I want to be alive. I want to please You. I want to have Your mindset. Please help me to embrace this time of waiting, especially when I become impatient and want those instant results. Help me to be ok with not being in control, not having a plan, not knowing what is next. Help me to enjoy this period. Please help me to lean into You and allow You to embrace me through this time. Help me to learn. Teach me who You are and who I am with Christ in me. I am not used to this, and it doesn't come easily to me, but I want to change. Strip me of false thoughts, ideas, and ways of doing things and replace them with You and Your ways, Lord. Shape my perspective so that I am able to see and live the joy, peace, freedom, love, and hope from You alone.