From Turn My Mourning into Dancing
I resonate with Henri Nouwen's words, because he so honestly and succinctly writes how I have recently felt or thought or both. So I will let him speak from Turn My Mourning into Dancing...
"As we find freedom to cry out in our anguish or protest someone's suffering, we discover ourselves slowly led into a new place. We become conditioned to wait for what we in our own strength cannot create or orchestrate. We realize that joy is not a matter of balloons and parties, not owning a house, or even having our children succeed in school. It has to do with a deep experience--an experience of Christ. In the quiet listening of prayer, we learn to make out the voice that says, 'I love you, whoever else likes you or not. You are mine. Build your home in me as I have built my home in you'" (36).
"But Jesus says that maturity means growing willingness to be led--even to places we might not eagerly choose. It is in that time and place of need that we turn to Another. We realize we cannot live without God. And all the recognitions and comforts of life take on a different cast" (36).
"Our waiting on God, our asking questions about where he is taking us, can then cultivate in us a growing sensitivity to God's presence, as well as his absence. We learn to accept God's surprising ways and broken presence in our midst. We no longer secretly assume that if only we work hard enough at kingdom matters, or our jobs, or our church activities, surely we will finally experience God speaking to us. We find ourselves less often expecting God to come by our schedules or calculations...Jesus bids us, 'Take up your cross, follow me, leave even your father and mother if you must. Don't insist on knowing exactly what comes next but trust that you are in the hand of God, who will guide your life.' We can do so, because we are told again and again in Scripture, Don't be afraid. Give me a chance. I am your Savior, Guide, Friend, Bridegroom" (39).
"...hope born of faith becomes matured and purified through difficulty. The surprise we experience in hope, then, is not that, unexpectedly, things turn out better than expected. For even when they do not, we can still live with a keen hope. The basis of our hope has to do with the One who is stronger than life and suffering...A person in difficulty can trust because of a belief that something else is possible. To trust is to allow for hope. Which also means that to trust is not always to demand specifics of what will transpire...if we try too hard to figure it all out we lose a trusting spirit" (53).
"Patience becomes in us the attitude that says that we cannot force life but have to let it grow by its own time and development. Patience lets us see the people we meet, the events of the day, and the unfolding history of our times all part of that slow process of growth" (56).
"It is not always easy to resist impatience and boredom...But the impatient desire to bring into being great things, and the dull boredom we feel when things do not happen our way and we lose interest, shows that we have forgotten that life grows to fullness by waiting, often by suffering" (57).
"This no to discouragement and self-despair comes in the context of a yes to life, a yes we say amid even fragile times lived in a world of impatience and violence. For even while we mourn, we do not forget how our life can ultimately join God's larger dance of life and hope" (63).
"As we find freedom to cry out in our anguish or protest someone's suffering, we discover ourselves slowly led into a new place. We become conditioned to wait for what we in our own strength cannot create or orchestrate. We realize that joy is not a matter of balloons and parties, not owning a house, or even having our children succeed in school. It has to do with a deep experience--an experience of Christ. In the quiet listening of prayer, we learn to make out the voice that says, 'I love you, whoever else likes you or not. You are mine. Build your home in me as I have built my home in you'" (36).
"But Jesus says that maturity means growing willingness to be led--even to places we might not eagerly choose. It is in that time and place of need that we turn to Another. We realize we cannot live without God. And all the recognitions and comforts of life take on a different cast" (36).
"Our waiting on God, our asking questions about where he is taking us, can then cultivate in us a growing sensitivity to God's presence, as well as his absence. We learn to accept God's surprising ways and broken presence in our midst. We no longer secretly assume that if only we work hard enough at kingdom matters, or our jobs, or our church activities, surely we will finally experience God speaking to us. We find ourselves less often expecting God to come by our schedules or calculations...Jesus bids us, 'Take up your cross, follow me, leave even your father and mother if you must. Don't insist on knowing exactly what comes next but trust that you are in the hand of God, who will guide your life.' We can do so, because we are told again and again in Scripture, Don't be afraid. Give me a chance. I am your Savior, Guide, Friend, Bridegroom" (39).
"...hope born of faith becomes matured and purified through difficulty. The surprise we experience in hope, then, is not that, unexpectedly, things turn out better than expected. For even when they do not, we can still live with a keen hope. The basis of our hope has to do with the One who is stronger than life and suffering...A person in difficulty can trust because of a belief that something else is possible. To trust is to allow for hope. Which also means that to trust is not always to demand specifics of what will transpire...if we try too hard to figure it all out we lose a trusting spirit" (53).
"Patience becomes in us the attitude that says that we cannot force life but have to let it grow by its own time and development. Patience lets us see the people we meet, the events of the day, and the unfolding history of our times all part of that slow process of growth" (56).
"It is not always easy to resist impatience and boredom...But the impatient desire to bring into being great things, and the dull boredom we feel when things do not happen our way and we lose interest, shows that we have forgotten that life grows to fullness by waiting, often by suffering" (57).
"This no to discouragement and self-despair comes in the context of a yes to life, a yes we say amid even fragile times lived in a world of impatience and violence. For even while we mourn, we do not forget how our life can ultimately join God's larger dance of life and hope" (63).
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