No quiero decir "adiós"
I never want to say goodbye to Guatemala. It's been a year and a half since I moved back to Texas, and I still feel like I'm mourning and grieving a loss. Perhaps that is why I keep hanging on to him.
What did I lose?
A beautiful place to live.
Beautiful people.
Good friends.
Heart conversations.
A church where I was connected.
Motivated and hard-working students.
Caring and loving students.
Kind and hospitable families.
Teacher friends.
Opportunities to explore and travel.
Freshly squeezed orange juice.
Strong coffee.
Fresh and sweet fruit.
Proximity of stores.
Color!
Togetherness.
What have I gained?
New friends.
Renewed friendships.
A wider circle of friends.
More time with my mom.
A new church where I'm getting more involved.
A car!
Freedom to go places without walking in the rain.
Freedom to go places at night without fear.
Freedom to run outside without comments from men.
Ease when communicating.
Ease with almost everything.
Hot water.
Drinkable tap water.
A comfortable couch.
Comfort being at home.
Central heating.
Wifi at the house.
A gym membership.
Access to a variety of products and services.
A great teaching job where I don't have to work much at home.
Respectful and hard-working students.
A school with godly leadership that runs smoothly.
Coworkers that don't gossip.
Focus on things that are good, beautiful, and true.
New perspectives on poverty, immigrants, and missions.
Fear that I will get too comfortable.
I'm afraid that if I let him go, I am saying goodbye to practicing Spanish everyday and my strongest, most constant connection to Guatemala. I don't want to say goodbye to Guatemala, but I feel like I have to detach from este lindo país so that I can detach from him. What about my Guatemalan friends? Is it possible to keep staying in touch with them? Yes, I think so, but I don't think I should go back to visit Guatemala for awhile. I will want to see him.
If I'm really being raw and honest, I'm also afraid that he's my only opportunity. What if no one else comes along?
Lord, help me to trust You. Help me cling to You and You alone. I know that You have specific plans for me. You knit me together in my mother's womb. You know my thoughts before a word is on my tongue. You know how many hairs are on my head. You love me with an everlasting love. You are the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
What did I lose?
A beautiful place to live.
Beautiful people.
Good friends.
Heart conversations.
A church where I was connected.
Motivated and hard-working students.
Caring and loving students.
Kind and hospitable families.
Teacher friends.
Opportunities to explore and travel.
Freshly squeezed orange juice.
Strong coffee.
Fresh and sweet fruit.
Proximity of stores.
Color!
Togetherness.
What have I gained?
New friends.
Renewed friendships.
A wider circle of friends.
More time with my mom.
A new church where I'm getting more involved.
A car!
Freedom to go places without walking in the rain.
Freedom to go places at night without fear.
Freedom to run outside without comments from men.
Ease when communicating.
Ease with almost everything.
Hot water.
Drinkable tap water.
A comfortable couch.
Comfort being at home.
Central heating.
Wifi at the house.
A gym membership.
Access to a variety of products and services.
A great teaching job where I don't have to work much at home.
Respectful and hard-working students.
A school with godly leadership that runs smoothly.
Coworkers that don't gossip.
Focus on things that are good, beautiful, and true.
New perspectives on poverty, immigrants, and missions.
Fear that I will get too comfortable.
I'm afraid that if I let him go, I am saying goodbye to practicing Spanish everyday and my strongest, most constant connection to Guatemala. I don't want to say goodbye to Guatemala, but I feel like I have to detach from este lindo país so that I can detach from him. What about my Guatemalan friends? Is it possible to keep staying in touch with them? Yes, I think so, but I don't think I should go back to visit Guatemala for awhile. I will want to see him.
If I'm really being raw and honest, I'm also afraid that he's my only opportunity. What if no one else comes along?
Lord, help me to trust You. Help me cling to You and You alone. I know that You have specific plans for me. You knit me together in my mother's womb. You know my thoughts before a word is on my tongue. You know how many hairs are on my head. You love me with an everlasting love. You are the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
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