My Buddy Henri

Henri Nouwen, that is. He has become one of my favorite authors over the past few years. His stories and thoughts speak to me. I like his simplicity and depth and honesty. He packs a lot into a few select pages, which makes his books less intimidating to a slow(er) reader like myself. I relate to his desire to love and serve the poor, and also his need for close community and bouts of loneliness. Life of the Beloved probably still holds the number one place, but this morning I finished ¡Gracias!, which is Nouwen's journal account of his six months in Bolivia and Peru trying to discern if God wanted him to live and serve in Latin America. 

Of course I liked the Spanish words interspersed throughout. Although I have never been to Bolivia nor Peru, I imagine there are many similarities to Guatemala. At times he even referenced Guatemala and surrounding countries like El Salvador. As always, I appreciated his honesty and realness. Above all, I connected with his genuine search for God's will, because I feel like I am on a similar search right now. I want to serve God and His people, especially those with different cultural and socioeconomic backgrounds, but right now I'm still not sure what that might/should look like. I'm not very articulate, so I enjoy reading what other people have thought and experienced, because it helps me put some of my own thoughts into words. 

These are some things that have stuck with me...

• "ministry of presence" 
• Probably since leading Young Life in college, I have believed that showing up, spending time with people, and being consistent in peoples' lives is something that I enjoy and comes fairly easy to me. I remember telling another middle teacher in Guatemala (shout out to Collin) that I may not be a good teacher, but at least I've been consistent in these students' lives when others haven't. Nouwen is the first person (for me) to put a name to it, that there's something significant about just being with people.  
•  "reverse mission"
• This is the idea that typically those from "the North" travel to "the South" to help when in fact, we from the North have a lot to learn from the very people we come to serve. Talk about upside-down Kingdom. I have already felt this at the new school I am at this year. The school is located in West Dallas, historically one of the poorest parts of the city although it has undergone a lot of transformation even within the past five years. In the 80s this area had the fourth largest housing projects in the United States. I was hired to teach middle school math, but what if God has me there not because I actually have things to offer (stay with me here), but because I have a lot that I need to learn myself. That Christ is my foundation, this year's theme. That progress is more important than perfection. That my attention and time should be focused only on the beautiful, lovely, and truthful things of God. That when I start to think I understand the plight of others, I find that I'm totally clueless. That despite cross-cultural experiences I've had, I still read the Psalms through my middle-class lenses. Maybe it's not either/or but both. Both parties have something to give and receive, and how beautiful is that!
• Catholics seem to have a strong commitment to serving the poor 
• The friends Nouwen connected with and surrounded himself with in Latin America (typically clergy and the Maryknoll sisters) demonstrated a genuine, selfless, incarnational life with the poor. I used to think (in Bob Goff style) that Catholics weren't Christians, purely because I hadn't met any Catholics who also loved the Lord. [Of course there are many Protestants who have completely missed Jesus as well.] Maybe I was naive or just blind. Now I think that there are many Catholics who cherish the liturgy, the traditions, and the repetition and also love Jesus wholeheartedly, because I have read their stories and have had the privilege of being friends with them (shout out to the Bacon/Avila families). Their love and concern for the poor is incredible. I am also struck by their unity. Again, we have a lot to learn from each other.
• Nouwen didn't end up in Latin America
• I knew this as I read his journal, which is interesting because his journal ends with him flying back North and feeling comfortable with the possibility of returning, as though being there "seemed right." So I am left wondering why he made the decision to move to Canada and work with the handicapped children there instead. Did he receive a clear no to Latin America? Did he receive a stronger yes to Canada? Or was God ok with both, and He let Nouwen make the choice? How do we discern God's will? Oh how I struggle to hear His voice.